Overcoming the Dark Side of Life…

Over the past few months, we have seen some household names decide to take their own life.

From a young, upcoming superstar like Aviccii, to Kate Spade, and now Anthony Bourdain..

These are the “stars” who grab the headlines, but in between them are many others who have made the same choice.

I am sure that for each person reading this, they know, or have been semi-connected to “somebody” who has decided that their life was not worth living.

But what we have to realize is, that the people who felt like making a personal decision as to when their last day of life should be, the battle started long before that day.

In a World that so judges you on the external(s): homes, cars, fame, wealth, career and the white picket fence, or what “group” you associate with, we are still missing the boat on what “success” and real “happiness” really are.

Many of the achievers out there, many of which I have been fortunate to work with, hide behind the above.

They hide behind their “success” to mask the other internal shortcomings, pain, and contemplations they may have.

They try to keep their World moving as fast as possible so they never have the face themselves, often done in moments of “silence” which they never give themselves a chance to have.

The “work” they need to be doing they make no time for. They have no time for it because it takes away their feeling of having super-powers. But when the music stops, and the autograph seeking crowds disappear, they must face themselves. The scariest thing most of these folks can ever do.

Self-analysis rather than self absorption.

Living in a high speed world, where you can find book after book, post after post, on how to have “success” is not the solution, but part of the problem.

Getting lost and infatuated in the “visual” and pseudo-success of online influencers who seem to have everything you want, desire, and hope to achieve is manifesting a negative self-image for many.

The same is true for your “friends” who spend many hours of their day posting their personal highlight reel, while leaving out the other realities of life known as the “negatives” or “real issues”. This leads you to believe that life is all sunshine and rainbows for them. But it is not. We must get “real”.

The feeling of “not keeping up” or “not being good enough” or “good looking enough” or “successful enough” is dominating the subconscious mind of many facebook, instagram, and social spectators.

This further leads to a depressive state if this “spectating” is not off-set by true, honest, authentic contributions in “real” life.

Depression, anxiety, and a destructive self-image take place from spending too much time internalizing and being focused on the “Self” and not enough time on giving, being, and serving others.

Rather than understanding that true“giving” is the greatest Soul-Satisfier in the World, many continue to seek outside “things” to fill their souls and to make them happy.

Happiness comes from within.

Not based on where you live, how much you make, or what you drive, (As demonstrated by some of the names above who had it all, minus a healthy self-esteem and view of themselves), but it is based on your soul & gut being satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you are set out to do in this World that will truly make a difference to those who get to experience your “IT” Factor & Gifts.

With families becoming less connected due to lack of communication and inquiry, in exchange for dodging the real conversations for texts, tweets, youtube videos, and “insta”, we are missing big.

High connection, high communication interactions are what save lives due to the confidence, direction, and support that can be felt from these interactions.

Parents engaging their children with questions and real world advice, rather than sugar coating the “tough” parts of the parenting game are critical to building young warriors.

What can be seen now is an online charade to make men less masculine, woman more powerful, and to improve the overall vulnerability of mankind, but the reality is, all of these initiatives are “failing” because they are simply “initiatives”.

Another buzz word. Another hyped-up, false-hustle solution without real substance behind it. Even many of the people pushing these agendas are only behind them because of the marketing value they provide.

But what I have realized is that success and internal satisfaction/ self-worth starts in the home, at schools, at YMCA’s, Boys & Girls Clubs, with great coaching, with mentorship, with teaching. It begins with any person or place that can build the spirit of the individual.

There are always exceptions, but for the most part, where there is genuine interest and care in another person, for selfless reasons, there can be positive results and outcomes for both parties involved.



Servant Leadership.

Empowerment Groups.

These all work when they happen in “real” life, leaving the digital world behind.

They all work when somebody genuinely asks the questions, “How are you? How are you feeling today” and genuinely waits to hear the answer rather than just using this as a passive form of engagement.

This current issue has nothing to do with boys or girls, political party, race or status. It has to do with people. And until we learn that people need constant coaching, accountability, direction, leadership, hope, inspiration, motivation, and support, the problems of today will continue to be the problems of tomorrow.

Dig in. Engage. Help somebody else reach their full potential. Don’t quit on them because the “pay-out” isn’t high enough.

Get behind people because it is the only thing in life that will truly fill your bucket.

Make a difference in yourself by making a difference in somebody else.

If we each take that responsibility to heart, that is how change happens one person at at time.

Take the first step.

It starts with you.

And as we say in sports, “Don’t just talk about it, be about it.”




World Champion New York Yankees Director of Strength & Performance. High Performance Executive Coach. Keynote Speaker. On-Camera Talent. #trainlikeapro

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World Champion New York Yankees Director of Strength & Performance. High Performance Executive Coach. Keynote Speaker. On-Camera Talent. #trainlikeapro

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